It has not been a good week. It started off as a not-unusual week, not the best but at least meh….. Tuesday was supposed to be the first softball game of the season, but we were rained out…… I went to a junkyard in town Wednesday to find a replacement spoiler/third brake light for the van, since the new price for them is like $150. They had 5 junk vans that matched ours, but only 2 had the rear spoiler still on them. So, I suspect that it’s not uncommon for them to break, go figure. I got one off before realizing it also had two broken hold-downs on it, so I left it and went for the last option. It had duct tape residue all over it but it was intact and I got it off ok. It cost $32…..Natalie had cheer tryouts this week. She has wanted to try out forever but I never saw her practice anything for it. Anyway, she said the first practice tryout went horribly, but she was committed to doing it. She said the second practice was a little better. But then,. Friday she had one of those terrible panic attacks at school that leaves her unable to move her limbs, and I had to go help Beth get her home and she slept the rest of the day, missing the 3rd tryout, which was mostly for the gymnastic kind of stuff so the coach said it was ok for her to miss it. Saturday was the final tryout; she spent hours getting her hair and makeup just right and was all set for it, but she had another panic attack at the gym before it even started and ran away. She said it was too loud and people were yelling and clapping and there was fast counting and it panicked her so bad all she could do was run. She called me to go get her (I’d been painting the ceiling at home, second and hopefully last coat) around 45 minutes after I had dropped her off. She was crying out in front of the school when I got there, mascara all down her face. Beth and Missy had gone to visit Black Pine Animal Sanctuary but hadn’t made it there yet, and Beth had Nat’s emergency pills in her purse, so they didn’t get there. Afterwards, I think Nat wanted to get away because she called every one of her friends to hang out and they were all busy, but after a while Cara came to get her. Beth and Missy headed out to do some shopping. A bit later Cara comes pulling up into the drive and says Natalie collapsed at Wal-Mart, she was reclining in the front seat and couldn’t move. I tried to help her up but she screamed and cried when I touched her hand to try to get her out of the car. Beth pulled up about right then as well. We didn’t know what else to do so we took her to the ER. It was a couple hours before she was all the way back again, but she told a social worker she was suicidal so she was at that point going to go inpatient again regardless. She did not want to. She begged us not to send her there. But she was going. It took hours to find somewhere for her, since Michiana was full and so was Parkview. They were looking as far away as Anderson. Eventually they got a space for her at Memorial Epworth Center in South Bend, but it was a while before we could go check in. And they needed both Beth and me there to check her in, so Alex and Missy were on their own for pretty much all evening and late into the night. We didn’t get to SB until around 11:30 at night, got her checked in, and didn’t get back home until well after 2:00. The average stay there is 6-10 days, just like the others, so we’ll see how it goes. This is the first time she did not want to go, though. But we’re hoping the doctors see what kind of issues she’s dealing with and can get her some relief…..The church picnic was today. Beth and I were out incredibly late taking Nat to South Bend but we thought it was important to go since the Boschains will be leaving soon. Beth had planned and gotten the ingredients to make several dishes but there was no way with all the other stuff going on. So, we freeloaded.